Blame it all on Dr. Seuss

A month or so back, someone on my friends list, posted something on FB blaming everyone else for what's wrong in the world today. I lean a lot more to the left, so I am admitedly especially annoyed by the right-wing stuff, and I do think this one was right-sided. But I don't let them lefties and those Demers off the hook either. WE is the problem folks, I have seen the guilty party and she is me!

 

They used some kind of Dr. Seuss parody to blame it all on O'Bama Lama Ding Dong or the Democrats, and I thought, as usual "way to let most of the actual guilty parties off the hook!". Anyways, as always, I probably could have spent MORE time on it, tweaked it, and "perfected" it, ad naseum, but then I never would have actually POSTED the darned thing! It was extemporaniously, off the top of my head, train of thought. It's now been tweaked a good bit and I still ain't completely happy with it, but it will have to do. Maybe I'll edit it gain later. Call it a work in progress! So, without further ado........

 

 

Here we sit broken hearted, who's at fault, WE are, retarded! It's not our doing, we're not to blame, pass the buck's our favorite game. Can't blame me I didn't vote, but I spew the party line each day, by rote! Demo-craps, Republi-dicks, it's all THEIR faults, just ask the Hicks! New parties too, the Green, the Tea, now THEY'RE to blame, just don't blame me! If only SOMEONE solved these problems, someone who could really solve 'em. Someone honest and not jerking, who'd stand up for me and MY hard-working! Big tax breaks for US and OURS, but not for THEM, their break's too large. Some social services for ME and MINE, but not for THEM, that would be fine. I'll do who and what I like, but not with you you dirty dyke! And don't you check me out you fairy, YOUR kind of sex is Hetero-scary. And that's why THEY should lose their rights their kind of living just ain't right.

 

I'll stop you all, who ain't like me, do what I do, then you can stay "free". What I choose to do is cool, double standard though, so that ain't for YOU! And through it all, I'll be forgiven, all you sinners though HELLFIRE just for livin. And all you countries keep your people, a better life HERE, that sure sounds like Evil! Well maybe they can stay a while, to do our work and move those piles. They can toil in our kitchens, and eat our scraps so why they bitchin!  They can fold our clothes and vac the floor, as long as they use just the back door. As long as you're not Red, Brown or Yellow, I'll welcome you to my club fellow.

 

LOTS of guns for everyone, guns ain't the problem, don't take our fun. Fully-auto would be best, let's all wear protective vests, we'll recreate a NEW Old West! Take our guns, NO spread them round, we have to confront the underground. Heaven knows we need more arms, or certainly we'll come to harm. Best to keep our families safest, from theft and rape and those other races.

 

We could elect the just right Prez, maybe a chick, but not a Lez. And if they changed the game about, the Blue OR the Red would kick them about! A white one, a black one, a girl or a guy, it don't matter we'de spit in their eye. A straight, or a gay, or a Transexuo-somethin, it don't really matter who where, or what they are humpin! They really are just a focal point for our blame, we're not looking for change, just more of the same!

 

That's it, I've just solved it, I'll lay down the big answer, let's start blaming THEM all,  even nudie-girl dollar dancers! Blame foreigners, patriots, blame Muslims and non, blame Christians and Jews, blame your dad and your mom! Blame non-smokers, and drinkers, and those who toke pipes, blame anyone you can think of, then run for your lives. Blame wars and depressions and the people YOU chose! Blame lovers and haters, blame virgins and ho's! The lame same old Blame game's got us into this mess, so let's blame some more, that's the path that seems best! 

 

Come to think of it now, it's YOU who's to blame! Whatever your politics or whoever your name. It's YOU and it's THEM and THEY, it's THE MAN, it's Satan who's hatched a nefarious plan. Come join the Blame Party, everyone take a turn, we'll all blame EACH OTHER, then fiddle while we burn! Well I am off the hook, I've painted the picture, it's YOU who all did this, you Missy or Mister. Why bother to fix it, blame your bro or sister!  

 

Why won't YOU see it, all you sons, and YOU mothers? OOPS, I showed my true colors, like YOU I just blamed OTHERS! 

Of fools and tools!

Okay, so for years, on Facebook, MySpace, and by email, I've bitched about the dumb stuff that folks post and re-post. I'm not the first to point out that Bill Gates ain't gonna give you shit for posting squat, but still it goes on....and on and on and on. Anyways, I'll get back to that specifically, later. In the mean time, one of my least favorite things, along those lines, but not exactly the same, is when women post tongue in cheek little double entendres that are supposed to be funny little comparisons to men or our ways. You've all seen them, some are even funny. I know, I know, most women say it's totally kidding, blah blah blah. However I've found many ladies actually don't think that much of the guys they know, are related to, date, and even Marry! So it's kinda tongue in cheek, but kinda an indictment too, and kinda a little bit of something or other else, but mostly annoying, at least to me! And me is who's important here, since this is MY blog, I guess I'll bitch if I want to, bitch! Speaking of all this, one came through on FB the other day, this one didn't slam guys so much, just compared us to shoes! lol.

I chose to add my own two cents (well, maybe more like two DOLLARS! lol.) In doing so, I could have written something much shorter for sure. I also could have fine tuned it for hours to make it flow better etc. (One problem with being a  perfectionist is sometimes we'll never do it at all, while forever waiting to do it JUST RIGHT). So I said screw-it, and went off the top of my head ~ I RANTED! Warning, don't think me much of a women basher, I wasn't even worked up, it is just a small pet peeve kinda thing and so I peeved. It was simply me very much wanting to show to the Nth degree that men could/can play the same game if we want! Boy it didn't go over all that well though, lol. I was  apparently taking the female post way too seriously and my response touched on some stuff that just didn't apply! Funny how that works when the analogy is on the other foot!

It was simply about busting balls and being funny........


The Ladies said...

Men are like handbags: You should always have more than one- in different shapes & colors. Use your favorite one every day and keep the high maintenance ones in the dark until you need them. And when you get sick of one, you can donate it to someone else to enjoy for a while!

Ranting Mikey responded....

Why buy the box, when you only want to store your tool for a while?

Women are like tool boxes... There are all kinds of boxes for all kinds of men. Different sizes, different colors, different uses, and different degrees of being the right box to be used. Some boxes are good for a lifetime, but some are just right for one or two jobs and then they are often gotten rid of. A lucky few guys have many boxes, where they can choose the correct ones and trot 'em out for just the right job(s), then tuck them back safely away where they belong..... Some guys only need one small box, that they'll only use once in a while' if at all. Other fellas have a box with a whole lot of holes that open, cause they always need somewhere to throw their tools. There are big boxes, small boxes, and all kinds of box sizes in between, but most are good for someone! Different colors, different qualities, and some boxes that were just cheap trash from the beginning and should be thrown away rather than passed on to another unsuspecting consumer! Gotta watch where you find your boxes guys, and wher ethey were made! A man can put things in his box, and that will probably give him great satisfaction, putting a tool where it belongs. Sadly many a man has found other people have been messing about with one of his boxes, maybe even his favorite one, a man can usually tell shit's not back where he left it! Some gents have a real fancy "professional" box, that allows them to put all kinds of things all kinds of different places (boy oh boy, those boxes are something else!). Some guys get tired of a box and get rid of it, or dudes gets old and just can't work with their tools and boxes like they used to, but still keep them around out of an old fondness! Some are faithful and loving to their boxes, even when the box has always let them down. There are those who even decide to trade boxes with another handy man, hmm to each his own (box, or someone else's as it were).  Unless a gentleman is quite fortunate and gets the very best of boxes, that always serves him well and rarely pinches him in it's hinge, and happens to have been just the exact one for him, it might just be easier to go somewhere and rent the right tool for the job and then give it back. I mean really for as infrequently as many boxes really serve most guys' needs, is it worth paying all that money to get the box, buy things for it, house the box, take care of the box and make sure it's safe, and then right when you want to use it, it often seems stubborn and unable to do it's job? Man how does a box get a headache anyway?

There was that old saying about not buying the cow when you can get the milk for free, so maybe we guys started it! But the girls turned that around and got us back, by saying they need not own the Bull, just to get a little sausage. Well, I say there's one back atcha ladies, don't be such Tools! lol